30 Bent Objects Holiday cards go to the best limerick having to do somehow with Thanksgiving. Winner announced and cards mailed Monday.
Still plenty of time to order a doodled-in book too! (and I do doodle in them a bit more than the example I photographed).
12 comments:
There once was a turkey named Mo
Who didn't know which way to go.
To the left was a knife
To the right was his wife,
So off to the left he did go.
There once was a turkey named Jenner.
Who was trying his best to get thinner.
But all that he ate
make him pack on more weight.
Then fattened, he was served up for dinner.
While shopping for Thanksgiving turkey
I found one that looked a bit quirky
It jiggled and shook
And then when I looked
I realized it was tofurkey
Thanksgiving is for the whole family:
Parents, grandparents, and little cousin Emily.
But for some reason
I can't get into the season
So I killed and ate them gladly.
As the turkeys are slaughtered each year
It's forced-family-togetherness I fear
that's MY bottle of wine
hurry up L-triptophan sleepy time
dear gawd my mother in law is here
(I don't know how good this is but I tried to keep it relevant for you!)
I came up with a little something to remind us of simpler times, before Thanksgiving was over-commercialized with our frozen turkeys and cranberry sauce in the shape of a can. Ahhh the good ol' days!
There once was a bird from Nantucket
Who's head ended up in a bucket
The man with the axe
Sat down to relax
While his wife proceeded to pluck it
A turkey named Terry in Indy
Liked to play with wires so bendy
He stuck them in fruit
With cameras to shoot
And thankful fans hope it won't endy.
Since Thanksgiving's a day to give thanks,
Thank you bacon and sausage and franks.
But my thighs are not thin,
More like cottage-cheese skin.
So boy, am I thankful for Spanx®.
Mad doctor Haricots Vertz
cried, "Feed them green beans 'til it hurts!"
He slipped on a roll
and fell en casserole
and was baked with his own just desserts
the turkey was still kind of froze
when we dropped it right on our toes
it oozed the floor
and slid out the door
while my roommate yelled out "OH NOES!"
In November, the turkey thought, "Damn,
I don't want to be served with the yams."
So he cooked pig for folks
As he told them great jokes,
And he was spared for being such a ham.
When the world reeks of Holiday Cheer
There are few things that all men hold dear:
And on Thanksgiving Day
They'll stay out of your way
With some turkey, the game, and a beer.
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