Storekeepers from a candy store on Avenue B (1973) Bruce Davidson
We went out to lunch the other day, and we saw a young couple sitting on the same side of their booth, while leaving the other side empty. I chuckled to myself and nodded my head so my wife and daughter could see what I was grinning about. They thought it was funny, but cute, while I just thought it was funny.
I'll be honest (and I don't think I'm alone in this), I usually imagine those couples as something like Jerry and his girlfriend in video below (when Jerry mentions "tuna-fishee", they are being especially shmoopy diners).
(thanks to @skormos for reminding me of this episode)
Of course, I sometimes figure it could be because one partner is super-clingy, and is afraid that the other might try to escape. Or maybe one of them wants to make sure that everyone knows their dinner date is taken. But I was genuinely curious, so I asked my Twitter and Facebook friends about this whole thing, and I actually learned of some half decent reasons.
What people told me-
Reason #1- So they can hear each other better.
One woman had a husband that was hard of hearing, another had one that was soft-spoken. Or if the restaurant is noisy, this would be a good way to compensate.
Reason #2- The view.
Maybe one side of the table looks at the kitchen doors, or at an ugly wall. Okay, I can understand that. Being the debonair gentleman that I am, I always let my wife have the better view (plus, she'll be looking at me too, so she's doubly set) but chivalry is dead in some parts. I also read comments about how they could see, and talk about the same people, and make fun of the same things (I'll have to remember this the next time I'm in the sites of one of these couples).
Reason #3- Easier to share food.
I don't find this that great of a reason. Maybe a dessert makes sense, but you're telling me you're eating off each other's plates, or even worse, the same plate the whole time? Are you sharing one drink also?
Reason #4- "Cuddling Time"
A very Shmoopy type of reasoning. These lovers are so smitten, they may die if they're not resting a hand in the other's lap. Shmoopy, shmoopy, shmoopy. Please get a room, or a car with a larger back seat!
So that's what I learned.
As a bonus, my friend J.D. Hastings (@j_d_hastings) made his own list of why some couples might sit next to, instead of across from each other while eating-
If there is a tv on the other side of the table, you can prevent unwanted conversation.
If you're pointing a gun at their abdomen it helps to hide it.
Easier on the neck when playing an impromptu game of "I Spy".
Someone you're both avoiding happens to be seated behind you.
The other side of the table is really heavy and you have to counterbalance it.
You're handcuffed together.
One person is hiding the horrific mutation on one side of their friends' face.
Both people need to stare at the waitress to get her attention.
The woman is sick of the man staring at her chest.
Both are alcoholics sitting at the bar.
And from Rob Vlock (@robvlock)
When dating conjoined twins. Three in a row would just be weird.
So there you have it. For those of us that don't engage in this particular seating arrangement, at least we know that there could be some logic behind it. And for those of you that do, carry-on, but understand that the rest of us think it's kinda weird. (edit- some of the rest of us think that it's weird. ha!)
What do you think? Are some of us terrible people for wondering about this?
23 comments:
1. So I could play with husband's leg, which is different than being clingy. I could sit across the table from him and run my foot up his leg, but we both wear boots and I'm short so I would be sliding under the table. That's entirely too obvious.
2. I don't like to sit with my back to the door and neither did he.
3. I sound like Loretta Lynn on downers and sometimes it's hard to hear me if the room is noisy.
Oddly enough, despite living in such a huge city, the absolute only time I ever see this is when it's an elderly couple. I figure it's so they can hear each other, and maybe help each other eat if it's needed.
god you're misersable.
and the rest of us dont "think its weird", maybe just you and a few other grumps XD
My husband chews with his mouth open. Sitting across from him makes me lose my appetite. He likes tuna fish sandwiches with extra mayo.
Hmmm, I never thought a thing about it, next time we eat out across from each other) I will have to look around. :)
Perhaps they are actors used to sitting that way during live tapings in front of a studio audience.
I agree with the hearing bit, my husband is very soft spoken so I don't have to ask him to repeat himself as often. Also, if there is a game on that we both want to watch, we'll sit on the same side to see the TV. I guess the romance is gone after 5 years....
I love your friend J.D.'s twisted sense of humor! I laughed out loud (at work) at the "gun in the abdomen" one :)
I totally eat off my man's plate. Otherwise, I'd have to order two dinners because I have a hard time committing to one. And, yes, I occasionally share his drink.
Are you one of those uptight people who doesn't share?
I think it's cute, too, and I don't know if I'd think it weird if I saw it. I have sometimes wished I'd sat next to my hun in loud restaurants (so many blast music these days) because I'm soft-spoken and don't hear well. At square tables, we often sit at two adjoining sides instead of across from each other. This makes it easier when we're having something new and want to trade bites or when we share dessert.
I'm with Wendy.
i had a guy sit next to me on a first date once upon a time ago. upon having his reasons questioned, he insisted it was so we could "share our love."
he apparently thought that we were in love before our first date. i hightailed it out of there as soon as i could (while leaving behind enough cash to cover my half of the meal). he was just a little too weird for me.
since then, the idea of "shmoopy" dining is one i avoid. i keep the PDAs at home, and the permanent roommate and i generally like different meals.
I always though Shmoopy diners simply couldn't stand to make eye contact with each other. I always thought it had to do with dirty secrets and guilty consciences... but I suppose there could be less scandalous explanations. Maybe.
Oops! I'm not "Anonymous!" I take full credit (or blame).
I would rather not see people shmooping all over each other while my husband and I try to eat. Except if they're old. Then it's cute.
That reason mentioned (If there is a tv on the other side of the table, you can prevent unwanted conversation), reminds me of: "Why do rednecks do it doggie style? So they can both watch NASCAR at the same time."
It makes it less noticible (I hope) that my husband pre-chews the food for me since we could only afford one full set of dentures and he usually gets them on Senior Menu Tuesday at Denny's.
Go Dale Jr!
We do it only very occasionally... there is probably some degree of shmoopiness to it most of the time, usually because we've already had a drink at the bar before dinner. But sometimes it's a volume thing--if the music's loud, or if we're talking about something personal.
Or if the table is really wide. Some restaurant tables are super wide for no good reason. It's like eating with Eddie Murphy's family in Coming to America... that or Bruce Wayne. Those are the only two examples I can think of.
We don't do this much anymore, but on our first date, my husband maneuvered us side by side in the booth. He told me later it was to help with awkwardness. You aren't watching each other eat, you have another place to rest your eyes instead of over your partner's shoulder, or staring the whole time. Plus, it is easier to talk that way. He planned our first date activity with similar consideration - we went to the zoo - much better than sitting silent next to each other for 2 hours watching a movie. We actually got to interact the entire date! :)
Wow, your work gets around quick!
http://community.livejournal.com/randompictures/8571996.html
I love the picture. Looks like it took place in the 30s or 40s though. But what do I know. Silly shmoopy diners, what's wrong with some people?!
My fiancé and I often sit on the same side when the seats are different on each side of the table, usually where one side is a bench seat against a wall and the other is normal seats. We both want the comfy side!
Someone once told me that, on a first date with someone she'd met through an online dating service, the guy tried to sit down in the booth next to her instead of across from her. There wasn't a second date.
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