Sylvia Muffin Left Her Head in the Oven
Today's contest to win a copy of Bent Object of My Affection (sorry this was posted later in the morning,
I slept in), has the theme of "I hate Valentine's Day. In 50 words or less, how much do you dislike this
holiday? Or maybe describe your worst Valentine's Day ever, true or not. No other rules. My favorite will win a book. Good luck!
There were 10 or so Tom Swiftys from yesterday which could have won. I picked Marcia's (the one about coconuts). Please get in touch.
Also- if you have entered a contest, check that post and see if you won!
edit- contest closed. I picked Stacey Halstead as winner. Congrats, Stacey!
Also, this.
30 comments:
Wost Vanentines Day ever my boyfriend broke up with me through a text message. - Nikki
I've never been to Valentine's Day with someone I love. So depressing ... Holidays are made for lonely people. Feeling of loneliness is even stronger on Valentine's Day.
The worst thing about Valentine's day is that it's not really about love anymore. The whole spirit of it has been crushed by greed and commercialism.
Last Valentine's Day, my wife asked if I wanted to have an evening of wild, passionate sex. I told her no, I'd just stay home with her and the kids.
Valentine's Day. Sets the heart aflutter, ignites that little spark of hope and makes you all of 13 years old again, all at once.
Best Valentine's Day ever and Worst Valentine's Day ever are the same one for me.
I was 6.5 months pregnant with twins. We had just found this out, and were recovering from the shock of realizing we were going to have three children under the age of 15 months. So my husband decided that I really needed cheering up and, ignoring the fact that we had already decided "No Valentine commemoration for us - too overpriced and commercialized", arranged a babysitter, a limo for the night and dinner at a swish London restaurant. He even gave me money to buy a nice new top with which to swathe the ever-increasing bump.
Pity he then crashed the car on the way home from work, so spending the whole evening in Ealing A&E. That limo ended up taking me to the hospital to sit with him while the sitter did the sitting thing. If I had a pound for everyone that evening who said (usually with a smile) "Are you hoping to have that baby tonight, so you don't have to go home" or some variant thereof, I would have had enough to pay for that limo myself.
We are still married after 26 years, and don't bother with celebrating Valentine's Day. We don't need to remind ourselves we love each other on one day of the year. And I feel that that while Tempting Fate may be a good title for a romance novel, I'd rather not spend another Valentine's Day evening in an Emergency Ward!
What's love got to do with it? Who needs fatten candy and dumb cards?
My aversion to Valentine's Day is due to the lack of spontaneity it leads to. Every couple is supposed to be happy, so they meet and try to look fine. Dullest day ever. When I see my boyfriend tomorrow I hope we find ourselves involved in a totally pointless argument of ours.
I am completely ambivalent about Valentine's Day. I am not, however, ambivalent about chocolate 50% on February 15. Sign me up. Thanks for the Ira Glass quote. That's delightful. Also, I've already purchased your new book, so please send it to someone else!
True Story
Received a set of Tupperware from my soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend. Contracted food poisoning at the Mexican restaurant he took me to. Became nauseated in his car on the way home and threw up in one of the Tupperware bowls - came in handy after all.
So. Much. Pink.
Bleh.
I have never really liked Valentine's Day. For years, I wanted to like it, but for some reason, the holiday was always associated with heartbreak. I always seemed to be single at the time and just plain sad. I love good food and wine and sharing a meal with a significant other would be very special. I'm married now and guess what? A week ago, I thought my marriage was over and it didn't escape my mind that Vday was around the corner. What is it with this time of year? Sorry, Terry. This is more than 50 words!
Who doesn't love Valentine’s Day? Herds of so-called "individuals" brain-washed by corporations and media into believing that buying mass-produced "treasures" for other herd "individuals" is the true measure of love. And don't get me started on the creepy Cupid character. How many roses will be sacrificed for this inane holiday?
I should have known something was up when my husband took out to breakfast that VDay morning. He never celebrated it before. Then he got mad at me, left for the day, and went to his girlfriend's (I found out later.) Divorce procedings started the next week.
True Story.
always single & i don't like sweets ~ happy Tuesday
Within the flight of passion floats the arrow. Gliding through flames, slashing into hearts. Lust flaming forth, volcano erupting rolling to the ocean. Steam sizzles, quenching flames. Arrows fall ground ward, striking rocks below. Passion flamed out, searching the Phenix. 364 moments pass by looking for flames anew. Heart of stone mounted in city park no more alight.
I hate Valentine's Day because I never got a valentine from adorable, if slightly chubby, Henry. No, I only got valentines from stupid Curtis, who smelled like spaghettios. And the worst part: I recently heard that Stupid Curtis now has quite a bit of money.
Valentine's day has one of the highest suicide rates, and 1 in 10 young adults ADMITTED to feeling unwanted on Valentine's day. It's good to celebrate love, but not to make others feel unloved.
We don't celebrate Valentine's Day because Zombies are better and deserve appreciation. So we honor them with Zombie Appreciation Day. Celebrate the undead instead!
I hate how Valentine's Day makes unattached people feel like they are missing a limb. A friend of a friend who is in his 40s and not dating anyone had the nerve to call my plans of hanging with married friends a "mercy date." Going out with married friends anyway to a restaurant and embracing being seen as "Sister Wives."
I can't tell my BF to not buy me fancy chocolates which will make me gain, rather, get me exercise tapes to help me keep fit; because as soon as I say that, he thinks I think that he thinks I'm fat, that's why I hate Valentine's day!
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valentines day=vd
vd=venereal disease
venereal disease=broken heart + cream
^^---- that was supposed to a vd heart split in two. but it got formatted. (frown, sneer)
My then-fiance ignored stated dislike of Valentine's day, and sent me a large bouquet of roses that we couldn't afford. And then ignored my birthday a week later. My now-husband took me seriously when I said I'd break up with him if he acknowledged Valentine's day.
What's to love? Candy hearts that taste like chalk? Cheesy valentines your mom made you give to every child in your class, boy or girl? Remembering that you are ALONE with no one to send flowers or chocolate to? Every year is a new worst Valentine's Day ever.
this is a stupid day nothing good has ever come from this day for me except a lot of bad break ups and money wasted I mean st patricks day is better then this day see i've been single for awhile now so in a way I have thank this day it taught to harden my heart and trust no woman and I ve been happy every since
i'm a florist and every year i somehow end up being in charge of a team making ALL of the rose arrangements (many hundreds) that go out of our shop. i work in the basement of the shop that looks like a set on "Saw," totally brutal.
It isn't that I "hate" Valentine's Day, I just don't make it a big deal.
When I was younger (much, much younger) I avoided, hid from and ignored Valentine's Day because I believed the hype.
Then something big happened, my oldest child was born on February 13th.
I was nine months pregnant, living in the backwater of the southwest. My husband was in San Antonio, Texas in his last month of Air Force boot camp, so he couldn't come home. I was miles away from most of my friends and family.
My water broke (all over the doctor) mid-afternoon and I was admitted to the hospital early evening.
The nurses were all excited and urged me to hold off until mid-night so I could have the first Valentine's baby. However, nature and baby didn't cooperate. Contractions began but dilation didn't so I ended up having a C-section.
The next day I didn't even realize it was Valentine's Day because I was so enthralled with my newborn.
From then on we downplayed Valentine's Day so it wouldn't upstage my daughter's birthday.
Love and chocolate can happen anytime on any day, not just on a designated day.
Valentine's day is awful because it should be called Terrytine's Day and we should all give each other Bent Object books. But that's not what it's called. And that's not what we do. Which is atrocious.
Sums up my feelings:
Violets are blue
Roses are red
So do me a favor
And just drop dead!
Super!
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