Limericks!
Leave a limerick having to do with today's image somehow, and have
a chance to win a copy of Bent Object of My Affection!
Or you can always buy a copy here.
A copy will be given away every day until Valentine's.
Contest is closed!
Many fine limericks, but I give the win to Ash Collins on this one.
Thanks for all your efforts!
Contest is closed!
Many fine limericks, but I give the win to Ash Collins on this one.
Thanks for all your efforts!
38 comments:
I try to caress her peer
that pointed as I pointed elsehere
She shows me the skin of her fruit
Then I cannot be more prude
And my hands was tremendous pealing to fears
I once met a couple of fruit.
Their devotion and trust absolute.
Such affection and care,
They were quite a sweet pair...
And they tasted delicious, to boot!
She had a big bum and no hair.
And he couldn't help but stare.
But he thought she was fine,
So he asked her to dine.
And they made the perfect pair.
This pear had a name that was Enis
His stem looked a lot like a penis
His wife was named Rose
And she hadn’t a nose
But he loved her like she was his Venus
There once was a pair from Eau Claire
One hung like a stud; the other bare
When her fruit of proportion
Massaged out puree; then full absorption
One then knows how prickly was the pear.
Yin & Yang had the same family tree
But their pairing came quite naturally:
T'was a marvelous fit
When they'd walk, stand, or sit,
Which is how their romance came to be.
Qubert and Sue make quite the pair,
Together they go almost anywhere,
But what he doesn't know,
His Bent Object doth show,
For Sue has stolen his underwear.
There once was a pair of pears who put up with the pointing and stares. As long as there's love, sent from above, should we hate them? Really? Who cares!
There once was pair of pears
Their life, they wish to share
Until that Spring day
When his stem fell away
And grew mushy with extra hair
There once were two pears from a tree
The most perfect pair you'd ever see
But trouble was found
For when turned upside down
He realized that She was a He
There once was a pear named Em
Who had just a slight problem
Her juices were drying
But she wasn't through trying
So she complimented his stem
There once were two pears in a pair
Who to the bedroom each night would repair.
They pared off their peels
Paired with grunts, moans, and squeals
Till the pair of pared pears had au pair.
My little fruit come here or there
Let me bite, nibble or chew your pair.
My stem sticks up for you
Don’t worry, it won’t taste like poo.
And you, I will not share.
Born to Run is my favorite song.
As a singer/songwriter he's strong...
Now my cheeks are quite red
'cause I guess my wife said,
"Write a Limerick on Bosc," I heard wrong.
there once were a couple of pears
who were intent on having affairs
they hid all their lies
and to no ones surprise
they had some diseases to share
Mr. Pear poured his gal some cheap wine.
He purred, “Baby, you’re lookin’ so fine!”
Then he pulled shut the drapes
Grinned and said, “Plus, our shapes
Are just perfect to try 69!”
Love ... even when we have imperfect bodies.... :)
You're pear-shaped,
I'm inverted pear-shaped,
Who can say we're not a perfect fit?
there once was a queen from Pear,
who unfortunately possessed no hair,
on the boulevard with the king she would stroll,
they passed by a sour apple who mocked and was droll,
they quartered the fool to be fair.
This gent thought he found his sure mare
The one to complete his pear pair.
A second glance at her stem
The her was a him
For twasn’t hands but her feet in the air!
There once was a pair of friends
Together until the end
I will always be there
You're my favorite pear
But for a recipe you I will lend
there once was a pear with a penis,
which was sad because all pears are boneless.
so his wife took a knife
and ended that strife.
and now that sweet pair shall be fruitless
There once was a couple of seckels
purchased in Israel for sheckels
but then taken to pan
flambe'ed, roasted and manned
while the Anjou's and the Boscs just heckled
A bosc pear and his girlfriend named Sue,
Took a pic at their dinner for two,
She saw it online,
And let out a whine,
"Delete this, I look like an Anjou!"
There once was a man named Terry.
Was he artistic? Very!
He took pieces of fruit,
Made them look cute,
Heck, they look ready to marry!
There once were two pears who discussed,
The merits of hooks and big busts.
They went for a drink,
Ne'er stopping to think,
That they'd end up falling in lust.
Bartlett required a wife,
Sweet Anjou said “Yes, you’re my life”,
The two were quite fond,
Of flaunting their bond,
Till the end of their two week shelf-life.
I must say that I love Elaine's limerick. Well done!
Thank you, msmargie -- I enjoyed yours, too!
From the tree we swung
To the ground we escaped
They picked us up and put us in a crate
Now here we are
Going on our first date
She was sassy and had lots of spunk,
but felt fat, so fell into a funk.
He said, “Dear, I don’t care
‘bout your big derriere.
Pears look juicy with junk in the trunk!”
There once was a seedless called Pip,
who liked to walk 'round in the nip.
When he took out his stalk,
they had to talk.
Coz she wanted a kiss on the lip.
The Lovers were only a pair,
whose clothing just wasn't there.
They were content,
with photos by Bent.
As nudists they hadn't a care.
There once was some wire and two pears
who were staged and photographed with care.
It was all just a hook
to get buzz 'bout the book
that can be yours for $13 plus airfare.
There once was a pear named Sue,
Her buddy was Homophobe-Stu.
He said, "This is rude,
But are you a dude?"
She said, "No-- I'm taking a poo."
We have here two fruits of one genus.
One could be from Mars and one Venus.
To differ the pears:
one has no head hairs,
the other, well, it has no penis.
There was an odd couple named Pear
Who, when strolling, left no room to spare;
With his chest in the ether
And her wideness beneath her,
They went both-cheeks-to-cheeks everywhere.
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